Episode 3 Script Draft

Atanvarno

Member
After watching the episode three script discussion and listening to the script outlines podcast, episode three really clicked for me, so I had an attempt writing it.

After some notes and encouragement from Nick Palazzo (thanks again, Nick!), it's in a ready-enough state to post publicly.

Some notes:
  • The start and and ending sections of the frame are not done. I would really like someone with more affinity for the frame to draft those (or at least give me a fuller outline with some firm direction).
  • As mentioned in the in-script notes, the scene that interfaces with Ainulindalë is a place holder, until the episode 1 script gets there. Until then, I don't know what material I'm picking up and what is already used. Nick is working on this.
  • I have, in places, diverged from the outline.
With that in mind, all comments, particularly criticisms, are welcome. If you want to make a revision – feel free! This is a starting point, by no means an end. I do ask that you share you work, though.

I've attached the pdf, as well as the Fountain source. Scene numbers are included to make commenting easier.

(A final aside on runtime – it's nowhere near the full hour that is aimed for. This a known issue, but there's really not much that can be done about it. The story is the length it is.)

EDIT:

Google Docs link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19jugxZiG_tYE6pdHOiKYwkuYMZjzhTzZz9LDs6euPXU/edit?usp=docslist_api

Sadly, Google Docs isn't ideal for screenplay formatting, so use this tool in conjunction with that link.

(I use Fountain Editor to write with if anyone is looking for a lightweight free tool.)
 

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ouzaru

Well-Known Member
Good work! Two quick things: you may want to consider putting it into a Google Document so that it is easier to edit publicly. In this way others can edit the source without overwriting it, all edits are immediately visible, and comments/discussion regarding edits can be made/had directly on the document rather than having to hop back and forth between the site and the material.

Second: If there isn't enough material to fill the hour, we add material until the hour is filled. No TV EP/directorial teams are going to accept "this is all we could write" when they've got an hour of TV to fill and commercial time to sell. If this means we need to add another sub/side-plot or expand the scope of a scene, that's a thing some one or we as a team can sit down and try to do, but "It is what it is" isn't really in the spirit of the project, especially after just the first draft.
 

Atanvarno

Member
Good work! Two quick things: you may want to consider putting it into a Google Document so that it is easier to edit publicly. In this way others can edit the source without overwriting it, all edits are immediately visible, and comments/discussion regarding edits can be made/had directly on the document rather than having to hop back and forth between the site and the material.
Good idea, I've edited the first post with a Google Doc link.
Second: If there isn't enough material to fill the hour, we add material until the hour is filled. No TV EP/directorial teams are going to accept "this is all we could write" when they've got an hour of TV to fill and commercial time to sell. If this means we need to add another sub/side-plot or expand the scope of a scene, that's a thing some one or we as a team can sit down and try to do, but "It is what it is" isn't really in the spirit of the project, especially after just the first draft.
I agree something needs to be done about, I just want to raise it is an issue. "It is what it is" is referring to the story as discussed/outlined so far, i.e. padding it will only hurt the story. New story elements and subplots are welcomed, where they compliment the core narrative - I just don't have any ideas for any, so could use some help on that.
 
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MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
I think that figuring out how much time we have for each episode will be good before going back and editing to 1 hour. Meaning, if *all* of our episodes consist of only 30 minutes of material, we have a much bigger issue than 'episode 3 needs to be expanded'. I know that the Ossë rebellion episodes are too short right now too, but did not make the executive decision to combine them into one episode (yet).

So, yes, we'll have to address that issue at some point, but the issue is in the existing outline. We may not have plotted out 13 full episodes this season, and in the end, we might find that we have a shorter first season than we meant to. But restructuring all of the material into a 10-episode season would be quite the task, and I'm not willing to undertake that until we're sure that's what we want to do. Season 1 of the Walking Dead was only 6 episodes, and Game of Thrones is 10 episodes per season. A 13-episode season is reasonable and standard, but not the only choice.

Alternately, writing filler to make what we have into 13 1-hour episodes might not be the best idea, either. Let's see how big the gaps are, and what we think got left out. Episode 3 has room for more Frame, or the main story could bleed into Episode 4 material.
 
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