@Eliza ,
I was thinking of Andreth saying Men go into “darkness ineluctable.” She seems to think it certain that Men either go to eternal darkness, or their spirits are destroyed. I don’t believe in damnation, but I find Andreth’s fear and despair palpable and even contagious. She seems genuinely terrified, not just bitter, and the concept of the Void
horrifies me.
There are also passages, I think, in the Akallabêth (and maybe also elsewhere?) saying that the shadow/fear of death was always upon the Men, even the Edain and Númenóreans. There’s the part in Akallabêth where they express their fear to the Elves, and the Elves’ reply is an uninformed guess, largely useless, and not very empathetic. Arwen’s words to Aragorn as he dies bring this out – she realizes they turned away from the Valar because they were left in fear, with no revelation or hope.
How to portray this is an open question, sure. But the different experiences of dying are a central theme of Tolkien’s and should come up sometimes. I can see your point that not every Mortal responds to that fear the exact same way. (Bëor might be less fearful than most Mortals, although he didn’t have the Númenórean ability to pick a time and place to die, so it can’t have been entirely the same as for Aragorn.) However, when comparing the Edain to real people or to Aragorn, I look at their upbringing:
Real people have religious revelations about what happens after death. Some philosophies have a grim view of death, and some say it’s unknown. But many religions teach hope: God or the gods will reward you, if you’re good: with Heaven or some other nice afterlife, reincarnation in a better life, etc. If anyone is thorougly unsatisfied, they can convert to another religion. And the religious diversity of Western societies creates diversity of beliefs.
But the Edain and Númenóreans have none of that. They’ve learned theology from the Eldar. The only ‘gods’ are Eru and the Valar, who don’t speak to Men. The only Creation is Ëa, and Mortals must leave Ëa and never return. Where
could they go? The Elves just assume it isn’t anyplace bad, but they don’t know what they’re talking about, and they can comfortably speculate because it won’t affect
them for a zillion years. Elves know Eru and the Valar love them because they’ve been given a good life, and revelations. Mortals have a tradition that their whole species was
rejected by Eru (possibly true), and that death = the Void (maybe just a lie from Morgoth). Although their Fall story is kept only by loremasters like Andreth, the despair and feeling of estrangement from God would have been passed on.
Some characters – Eärendil, Elros, and Aragorn – are more hopeful about mortality. But it’s how they were raised: Eärendil was raised by an Elven mother, and by Tuor who was raised by Elves. Elros and Elrond were raised partly by Elwing (herself raised by Elves) and partly by a son of Fëanor. Aragorn was raised partly by Elrond. I think these characters were taught Elvish beliefs about death – just wild guesses, but vaguely hopeful. The twins and Aragorn grew up in societies without the constant presence of death, plagues, and child mortality. Also, after the First Age the Valar seem to have told the Elves
they’ll enjoy blissful life in Arda Healed, since Galadriel told Treebeard they’d meet there someday. Only Aragorn was exposed to Mortal views as a child, from his mother, and he admits to Arwen that death is bitter (and frightening?).
For (Faithful) Númenóreans there’s an attempt to pray to Eru, and they did receive friendship from the Valar. I think Elros could be a prophet trying to teach them to be hopeful, but he probably had no clue either, so he couldn’t tell them anything. He couldn’t claim to have contact with Eru or Manwë, or to have any revelation from them.