Script Discussion S04E09

Could anyone who has suggestions or concerns about this battle besides the presence/absence of Balrogs please bring those up as soon as possible? Since I'll be writing another version of this episode before the next session, I would like to try to address any other issues people have with Episode 9 in that script as well.
 
Could anyone who has suggestions or concerns about this battle besides the presence/absence of Balrogs please bring those up as soon as possible? Since I'll be writing another version of this episode before the next session, I would like to try to address any other issues people have with Episode 9 in that script as well.
What did the Professor say about the presence of Balrogs at the Dagor Aglareb?
 
I looked over the outline for this episode, and see that very little needs to change. I will say that with Angrod's survival, we will have to shift the importance of Aegnor a bit. To facilitate that, I suggest wounding Angrod in the battle (if we don't kill him), so that he's out of commission until the end and it's Aegnor talking to Fingolfin, etc.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GfTSnE47fm5agBCrCTFS9G1LHlgmgGb7az44sZvNUvU/edit
 
I looked over the outline for this episode, and see that very little needs to change. I will say that with Angrod's survival, we will have to shift the importance of Aegnor a bit. To facilitate that, I suggest wounding Angrod in the battle (if we don't kill him), so that he's out of commission until the end and it's Aegnor talking to Fingolfin, etc.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GfTSnE47fm5agBCrCTFS9G1LHlgmgGb7az44sZvNUvU/edit
Like I did in the alternate script?
 
It could be, sure. I don't think it need be a head injury; he could just as easily get stabbed or hit with a fiery whip or something. But yes, he should be out of commission and Aegnor should take over.
 
I'm looking for names for the other Balrogs. My first thought was to use the names of some of the bad guys from the Book of Lost Tales, like Kosomot, Langon, or Fankil, and maybe also Makar and Measse (do we want a female Balrog). Does anyone have any suggestions for different names or modifying these names
 
I'm looking for names for the other Balrogs. My first thought was to use the names of some of the bad guys from the Book of Lost Tales, like Kosomot, Langon, or Fankil, and maybe also Makar and Measse (do we want a female Balrog). Does anyone have any suggestions for different names or modifying these names

There was a female amongst the protobalrogs, Arien. I think in our previous discussions on this point, it was decided that the disfiguring of the balrogs would make it too difficult to discern male from female.
 
There was a female amongst the protobalrogs, Arien. I think in our previous discussions on this point, it was decided that the disfiguring of the balrogs would make it too difficult to discern male from female.
I was just wondering since Measse is a female name. The Balrog does not have to be obviously female.
 
I am fine with Measse (and potentially Makar) as balrog names. I am not okay with Kosomot, and I think we are saving Fankil for whatever story of the fall of Men we are telling, so we should avoid using that name here.

It's okay to have a female-named balrog, though as Nick pointed out, post-Fall-of-the-Lamps, there will be no feminine/female attributes to distinguish this balrog from formerly-male balrogs. The balrogs are simply monstrous. That includes voice.
 
I would abstain from other forms of Gothmog, like Kosomot... but names like Lungorthin, Fankil, Langon, Ulbandi , Calimbo,Arauco, Kuruki might work...
i am somehow reluctant to recycle Makar and Measse as Balrogs... there could be some Maia-Warriors resembling them if we ever needed some, more as a nod than as actual main characters.I don't have any problems with more warlike Maiar, as we have Warriors on that side too, i mean Eonwe, Tulkas, Osse, Orome all have atheir violent side.
 
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I'm still working on the script where a Balrog kills Edhellos, but here's one in which Sauron kills her. This script also contains the first of the alternatives I thought of to handle the Balrogs yet keep Angrod alive. If you guys don't like what I've done, I thought of several other scenarios that I can write to make the Balrogs terrifying.

I also took out the mid-battle telepathy because I thought of the battle-cry and liked that better, but I am happy to change back if you guys don't think that works.
 

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I'm still working on the script where a Balrog kills Edhellos, but here's one in which Sauron kills her. This script also contains the first of the alternatives I thought of to handle the Balrogs yet keep Angrod alive. If you guys don't like what I've done, I thought of several other scenarios that I can write to make the Balrogs terrifying.

I also took out the mid-battle telepathy because I thought of the battle-cry and liked that better, but I am happy to change back if you guys don't think that works.
How does Aegnor survive the battle? I was having a hard time with figuring out how he survives after getting his sword broken.
 
How does Aegnor survive the battle? I was having a hard time with figuring out how he survives after getting his sword broken.
In this version, Aegnor is fighting Sauron, who turns into a vampire and flies away after he kills Edhellos.
 
How does Aegnor survive the battle? I was having a hard time with figuring out how he survives after getting his sword broken.

Battlefields are dangerous places, to be sure. But it is only on the front lines that not having a sword would put someone in more danger than they would be just being present. Also, presumably, there are other weapons around other than Aegnor's personal sidearm.
 
Here is a shorter and hopefully clearer script for Episode 9. This one still has Rhogrin "killed" by a Balrog, but I plan to write another version where the Balrogs do something different.

Please let me know whether this script is any better and if there are improvements I can still make to it.
 

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