Nicholas Palazzo
Well-Known Member
Still going...
Dialogue:
The word "location" was bothering me, so I looked it up. It has been in use for quite a while, but I've determined that it seems to have been used almost exclusively as a verb until just before the 19th century. Perhaps "whereabouts" might be a suitable replacement?
No offense, but this feels a little Tweedle-dee/Tweedle-dum to me, and I don't love it. People just don't generally talk this way unless it is rehearsed, and since these guys are doing their very best to avoid situations where they would be introducing themselves, it strains my credulity that they worked this out ahead of time.
This seems ... rude, for this guy to give Aredhel orders this way. And maybe that's ok. Maybe Amras tends to attract anti-social types. But, if that's the case, Aredhel and her guards should react as if these guys are not treating Aredhel appropriately. However, given the length of this sequence, I would suggest not actually showing the dialogue, but showing the conversation from a distance, some pointing over yonder, and they all ride off together. There really isn't anything they are going to say that we need to hear.
The word "hello" didn't really come into common use as a greeting until the advent of the telephone at the end of the 19th century. Prior to that, people (including Bilbo, actually), did use "Hullo" as an expression of surprise (as when Gandalf shows up in Bilbo's home unexpectedly) or to get someone's attention. Even then, it still would likely feel out of place amongst the Elves.
Dialogue:
Of course thou mayst have time. The city must first be full wrought ere we go to dwell there. However, I ask that thou speak of Gondolin only to our father and brother and of its location to none. AREDHEL I know not its location. TURGON And its location I will not tell thee unless thou art certain thou wilt come.
The word "location" was bothering me, so I looked it up. It has been in use for quite a while, but I've determined that it seems to have been used almost exclusively as a verb until just before the 19th century. Perhaps "whereabouts" might be a suitable replacement?
PETTY-DWARF 1
The houseless, the clanless, the nameless.
PETTY-DWARF 2
The exiles, the cast-outs, the blameless.
AREDHEL and her GUARDS ride are travelling through open land. They notice three of Amras’ HUNTERS coming over a ridge towards them. One calls out as he approaches.
HUNTER 1
Welcome, Lady Aredhel. Come with us.
AREDHEL
Hello, Amras! Thy work is beautiful.