Poem about the Silmarils

MithLuin

MithLuin

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Evan (Icon on the boards) wrote this short poem about the silmarils for Season 6. I don't know if I have a place to put it in the Episode 1 script, but I thought it might be helpful for the soundtrack!

Here it is:

- Words fail as waning light
When to a Silmaril thoughts turn
Beauty and doom woven tight
Knit of flame that does not burn

All the stars of Varda's hand
Grow cold and dull beside
Bitterness and woe could not stand
Where warmth and grace reside

Alas, if tears could be shed from stone
For Fate, and Curse, and Crown
For light contained on darkest throne
Then all the world would drown -
 
I don't wish to violate the poet's integrity, but since he stated on the relevant comment, "Take it or leave it, edit as you wish, I won't be offended!" I'd like to suggest some changes to bring it into a consistent meter - it's already close to Tolkien's iambic tetrameter so I have chosen that. (I've also made some stylistic changes but they do not change the fundamental meaning of the lines) The edited poem:

The tongue will fail as waning light
When to a Silmaril thoughts turn:
Both doom and beauty woven tight,
And knit with flame that does not burn.

The silver stars of Varda's hand
Seem cold and dull when set beside,
And bitterness and woe shan't stand
Where light and warmth and grace reside.

Alas, if tears were shed by stone
For Fate, and Curse, and Iron Crown [alt: For Oath, and Fate, and Curse, and Crown],
For light withheld on darkest throne
Then all of Arda soon would drown.

Other than the metrical variation, it's a very well-composed poem, and I think does a great job to show Finrod's grief at the loss of the Silmarils.
 
kanji_d said:
I don't wish to violate the poet's integrity, but since he stated on the relevant comment, "Take it or leave it, edit as you wish, I won't be offended!" I'd like to suggest some changes to bring it into a consistent meter - it's already close to Tolkien's iambic tetrameter so I have chosen that. (I've also made some stylistic changes but they do not change the fundamental meaning of the lines) The edited poem:

The tongue will fail as waning light
When to a Silmaril thoughts turn:
Both doom and beauty woven tight,
And knit with flame that does not burn.

The silver stars of Varda's hand
Seem cold and dull when set beside,
And bitterness and woe shan't stand
Where light and warmth and grace reside.

Alas, if tears were shed by stone
For Fate, and Curse, and Iron Crown [alt: For Oath, and Fate, and Curse, and Crown],
For light withheld on darkest throne
Then all of Arda soon would drown.

Other than the metrical variation, it's a very well-composed poem, and I think does a great job to show Finrod's grief at the loss of the Silmarils.
Click to expand...

I am so in love with these changes.
You seriously took what was a clumsy attempt to something so beautiful. Big applause from me!
 
I really like what you have done, both of you and so glad that you are in consensus about the changes. There is potential for a real haunting melody to go with this and it would nicely fit as background music a bit like Arwen’s Song in ROTK. It would be good to have some more context. Kanji mentioned Finrod. Is he the intended viewpoint or are there other possibilities and are there thoughts about what part of the story it would fit into?
 
Phillip Menzies said:
I really like what you have done, both of you and so glad that you are in consensus about the changes. There is potential for a real haunting melody to go with this and it would nicely fit as background music a bit like Arwen’s Song in ROTK. It would be good to have some more context. Kanji mentioned Finrod. Is he the intended viewpoint or are there other possibilities and are there thoughts about what part of the story it would fit into?
Click to expand...


It was written from the perspective of Finrod, as he explained the Silmarils to a dwarf character in Season 6 E1. That being said, personally I think anyone at any point telling the story of the Silmarils would fit with this.
Ultimately, it's now in your hands to use when and where you like.
 
I have a couple alternate lines for the second line of the third stanza still, but it's really just a grab-bag of words there: Fate, Curse, Crown, Oath, and Doom will all work equally well. The Curse and Crown line is probably my favorite because of the alliteration between them and the pleasant sound of the /k/ which is very crisp when sung or recited.
 
I thought I would depart from my usual release process and post a preview of the Silmaril Poem here before I publish it on YouTube as this a collaborative effort. I've even made suggestions to Rhiannon who has written most of the script for this episode.
Silmaril Poem
I was also considering a different title for it. Listeners will expect it to be spoken, not sung. I was thinking something like "Finrod's Dilemma" followed by the SilmFilm episode and scene number.
 
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