Script Discussion: Season 1 - Episode 9-10

MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
First thoughts....

These seem to be the issues you were struggling with in this (double) episode. They were all addressed, but I just wanted to pull them out for further examination:

  • Gilraen's insight
    • Why does Gilraen overhear this lesson? And what causes her to confront Elrond in this way?
    • The premise of 'Estel needs unstructured time' seems fine, just want to work that in organically.
    • Elrond's reaction to her....
  • Uinen's role
    • Her introduction is solid, but why does she intervene when she does? Is it her own decision, or is it at the request of Aulë or Ulmo?
    • Why does Ulmo back down and decide not to quash the rebellion, giving Uinen the freedom to act?
  • Aulë's growing discomfort with Melkor's corrupting influence
    • the conversation with Ulmo is the perfect time to make this explicit, but I agree with Alex that it would be much preferable to have some 'tells' on screen showing the ongoing issue, rather than rely on a single conversation to convey everything we need here.

I'll listen a second time and try to type up a rough outline. I'm not entirely sure where the episode breaks right now, so....not ready to do this yet!
 
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Nicholas Palazzo

Well-Known Member
Yes, I completely neglected to work up the episode break in this thing. I remember that the hosts wanted it to take place following Ossë's conversation with Melkor.
 

Nicholas Palazzo

Well-Known Member
As to your questions, let me see what I can do here.

Why does Gilraen overhear this lesson?
Would it be too much to have it be a stormy day in Rivendell and she is hanging out in the background doing some needlepoint or something?

Why does Uinen intervene when she does?
I would prefer to make it her decision, with her suggesting it to Ulmo after his first attempt to rein Ossë in fails.

Why does Ulmo back down?
I really struggled with this one, because we had to figure out a way to make Ulmo, Lord of the Sea, back down from Ossë. The only thing I could think of is that perhaps he sees the potential for environmental damage growing from their conflict, and backs off to try and figure out a way to contain the situation.

As to the tells concerning Aulë's concern over Melkor's corruptive influence, I really don't know what more we can put in it. I thought about having Melkor's influence on Mairon show through, but I feel like I would rather the wool be pulled over Aulë's eyes there. It will make it all the more powerful when we cut from him telling Ulmo to get control over his people to Mairon meeting with Melkor.
 

MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
Outline

Episode 9: Rebellion

Frame: Begin in Rivendell in the Spring. Perhaps it is raining. Estel and his mother Gilraen are in their cottage in the evening. She invites him to do {something}, and he begs off as he is busy with his studies (would he be learning Quenya yet? Perhaps memorizing a passage? Maybe cartography). She sees that he is tired.

Alternate version: This is a scene of domestic bliss, with Gilraen and Estel working together (or at least side-by-side) in a balanced, orderly way.

The next day, Estel and Elrond meet on one of the porches of Rivendell for their lesson. The view of the valley is obscured by the haze of rain. Gilraen sits nearby, working on knitting or needlework or something.

Story: Begin on the shores of Valinor. Ossë and Uinen are cavorting in the water; it is necessary to establish their relationship here as companions of similar temperament. Uinen leaves to get back to work - she has to clear some ice from a river in Middle Earth; it is clear that this has become a regular issue for her to deal with, and she's not pleased with it at all. Bored, Ossë hammers the coastline, wearing it away. Aulë spots the damage and, irritated, sends Mairon to patch it up.

Montage of Ossë and Mairon engaged in competitive cliff/levee building and destruction.

Melkor arrives to find Mairon by the cliff, and wryly remarks that they've put him on repair duty. Mairon complains about Ossë's thoughtless destruction and Melkor agrees - what can you expect from Ulmo's people? No discipline at all.

Melkor seeks out Ossë, and begins a demonstration of what unfettered release of power looks like (volcano). Impressed, Ossë decides to give it a try. Encouraged by Melkor, he launches a rage-induced storm (we basically see Ossë hulk out).

Aulë is more than just peeved now, so he seeks out Ulmo and tells him to get his people in line.

Mairon seeks out Melkor, and complains that everything is now worse. Melkor explains how this could work to their advantage, as it would pit Ossë and Ulmo against each other.

Ulmo confronts Ossë - it turns violent. Ulmo chooses to end the confrontation rather than escalate the situation further to the destruction of Arda. Ulmo issues an ultimatum, and Ossë mouths off and leaves. 'This is who I am!' Basically, I'm doing what I was meant to do, just get out of my way. Ulmo warns him that he can't allow this to continue.

Back to the Frame: Elrond interrupts the lesson when someone comes to meet with him. Gilraen gets Estel's attention, but he again tells her that he has to run off and do something for his other lessons/studies. When Elrond is done with his (brief) meeting, Gilraen addresses him and raises the concern that young boys need time to run and play, and cannot work and study all the time. Elrond does not seem to take her concern seriously, but does not dismiss it out of hand.*

*Alternate version: Estel looks a bit lost when his lesson ends abruptly, so Gilraen intervenes mentioning that the Master of Rivendell has many responsibilities, not just to tutor young boys, but that Estel can/should do x. Estel runs off, and Gilraen waits until Elrond is free to bring up the importance of structure and consistency, as Estel does not have the luxury of time that the elves enjoy.

To Be Continued

Episode 10: Finding the Balance between Chaos and Order

{coming soon}
 
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MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
Outline continued

Episode 10: Finding the Balance between Chaos and Order

Frame: Elrond finds Estel and continues the interrupted lesson in a different location.

We see Ulmo in his halls under the water (more dimly lit scenes to drive the lighting crew bonkers). He is pondering what to do about Ossë - how to squash his rebellion without causing more damage?

Uinen volunteers to talk with him.

Uinen comes out of nowhere and crashes into Ossë. She's furious with him. They have a knock down drag out fight, which ends with her pinning him in a chokehold or net of hair. It's clear that she is not afraid of him, and that he has no desire to hurt her seriously. [Hence why she can succeed where Ulmo failed.]

During their fight, there is much shouting - Uinen asks him if this is what he wanted, and he says he's free now. She tells him he's not only alone, but about to lose any freedom he once had. He says he thought she would come with him, and she retorts, "No, you didn't."

Eventually, he calms down and the storm does too, and he expresses his desire to stay with her, even if that means taking orders and staying within boundaries. They go together to reconcile with Ulmo.

Later, Ulmo seeks out Aulë to apologize for the damage done, and to assure him that Ossë will not be raging unchecked any more. Aulë accepts the apology, but seems suspicious. Ulmo mentions that the real threat was not Ossë himself, but the one who drove Ossë to it - Melkor. Aulë, who had not sided with Ulmo in the past on this issue, agrees. Mairon is present during this conversation, but keeps his thoughts to himself.

Afterwards, Mairon seeks out Melkor and reports what was said. He is frustrated over Ossë getting away with his rebellion, shocked that Melkor would be blamed for someone else's actions, and ... Melkor puts out some feelers.

[Edit: Melkor decides to make the next move in Mairon's gang initiation, and gives him a tour of Angband in response to what will be done if some of the Valar decide to react violently. Mairon is impressed, but uneasy, so Melkor lets him go. It is strongly implied that Mairon will keep this knowledge to himself.]

We have a final shot of Aulë alone in his workshop, brooding while contemplating a chunk of marble.

Frame: Elrond asks Estel how his other lessons are going, and he gives a bit of an update on what he's been learning. Elrond asks him what his favorite lessons are, and Estel rather candidly mentions swordplay first, but does admit that Elrond's stories are pretty neat too.

IF we're going with the 'Estel is overworked' storyline, Elrond gives Estel a break and some time off to enjoy spring in Rivendell, which will not last very long.
IF we prefer the 'Elrond is too casual/unstructured' version, Elrond will take Gilraen's advice to heart, and tell Estel when/where the next lesson will be, and what his homework is before hand.

Mairon's tour of Angband could be saved for the next episode, but it doesn't really fit in there, whereas it does fit here. The placement (and length) of this scene will likely depend on timing decisions during script writing.
 
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MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
I know there has been some discussion about the frame storyline, and some back-and-forth on the roles of Gilraen and Elrond. I've tried to do one version of each, but I mostly made this up not based on the discussion, so....these are just suggestions and I would be interested in some input and re-writing of the Frame part of the outline in particular.

It also occurs to me that these episodes might be a little...short. Looking at the content, I don't see a full hour of TV in each. Therefore, if there is anything that needs to happen in episode 11 that does not directly involve Aulë's creation of the dwarves, I suggest we work that in here. That might include Mairon's tour of Angband.
 

Nicholas Palazzo

Well-Known Member
We could conceivably work Mairon's tour of Angband in to his conversation with Melkor in episode 10. Oh, and another segment is up.


Sorry for my awkwardness on camera in this one by the way. It's a bit tougher to go solo than with other people who talk while you're not talking.
 

MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
I will be around tomorrow night, and Karita too, so hopefully you won't have to be alone on camera this week!
 

MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
EPISODE 1.9 - REBELLION
Gilraen and Elrond have different styles in organizing Estel’s education. Ossë tests the boundaries set for him.

CHARACTERS:
Frame: Estel, Gilraen, Elrond, messenger
Main: Ossë, Uinen, Aulë, Mairon, Melkor, Ulmo

OUTLINE
I. Rivendell (Spring; it is raining)

a. Estel and his mother Gilraen are in their cottage in the evening.

b. She invites him to do {something}, and he begs off as he is busy with his studies (would he be learning Quenya yet? Perhaps memorizing a passage? Maybe cartography). She sees that he is tired.

I. Alternate version: This is a scene of domestic bliss, with Gilraen and Estel working together (or at least side-by-side) in a balanced, orderly way.

II. Rivendell (Exterior; a porch)

a. The next day, Estel and Elrond meet on one of the porches of Rivendell for their lesson. The view of the valley is obscured by the haze of rain.


b. Gilraen sits nearby, working on knitting or needlework or something.
III. The shores of Valinor.

a. Ossë and Uinen are cavorting in the water; they are companions of similar temperament.​

b. Uinen leaves to get back to work - she has to clear some ice from a river in Middle Earth; it is clear that this has become a regular issue for her to deal with, and she's not pleased with it at all.​

c. Bored, Ossë hammers the coastline, wearing it away.​

d. Aulë spots the damage and, irritated, sends Mairon to patch it up.​

e. Montage of Ossë and Mairon engaged in competitive cliff/levee building and destruction.​


IV. Cliffs above the sea

a. Melkor arrives to find Mairon by the cliff, and wryly remarks that they've put him on repair duty.

b. Mairon complains about Ossë's thoughtless destruction and Melkor agrees - what can you expect from Ulmo's people? No discipline at all.


V. Elsewhere

a. Melkor seeks out Ossë, and begins a demonstration of what unfettered release of power looks like (volcano).

b. Impressed, Ossë decides to give it a try. Encouraged by Melkor, he launches a rage-induced storm (we basically see Ossë hulk out).


VI. Under the Sea

a. Aulë is more than just peeved now, so he seeks out Ulmo and tells him to get his people in line.


VII. Utumno

a. Mairon seeks out Melkor, and complains that everything is now worse. Melkor explains how this could work to their advantage, as it would pit Ossë and Ulmo against each other.


VIII. The open Sea

a. Ulmo confronts Ossë - it turns violent.

b. Ulmo chooses to end the confrontation rather than escalate the situation further to the destruction of Arda. Ulmo issues an ultimatum, and Ossë mouths off and leaves. 'This is who I am!' Basically, I'm doing what I was meant to do, just get out of my way. Ulmo warns him that he can't allow this to continue.


IX: Rivendell (Exterior; a porch)

a. Elrond interrupts the lesson when someone comes to meet with him.


b. Gilraen gets Estel's attention, but he again tells her that he has to run off and do something for his other lessons/studies.

c. When Elrond is done with his (brief) meeting, Gilraen addresses him and raises the concern that young boys need time to run and play, and cannot work and study all the time. Elrond does not seem to take her concern seriously, but does not dismiss it out of hand.

IX. Alternate version

a. Elrond interrupts the lesson when someone comes to meet with him.

b. Estel looks a bit lost when his lesson ends abruptly, so Gilraen intervenes mentioning that the Master of Rivendell has many responsibilities, not just to tutor young boys, but that Estel can/should do x.

c. Estel runs off, and Gilraen waits until Elrond is free to bring up the importance of structure and consistency, as Estel does not have the luxury of time that the elves enjoy.


To Be Continued



...To be fair, this one is pretty sparse, so we're going to need some epic action sequences to fill up large amounts of time. Or, you know, more plot. What is going on in Valinor during all of this?
 

MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
EPISODE 1.10 – BALANCING CHAOS AND ORDER
Gilraen and Elrond have different styles in organizing Estel’s education. Ossë tests the boundaries set for him. Continued.

CHARACTERS:
Frame: Estel, Gilraen, Elrond
Main: Ossë, Uinen, Aulë, Mairon, Melkor, Ulmo

OUTLINE
I. Rivendell

a. Elrond finds Estel and continues the interrupted lesson in a different location.

II. Ulmo’s Halls under the sea

a. Ulmo is pondering what to do about Ossë - how to squash his rebellion without causing more damage?​

b. Uinen volunteers to talk with him.​


III. Surface of the open sea

a. Uinen comes out of nowhere and crashes into Ossë. She's furious with him. They have a knock down drag out fight, which ends with her pinning him in a chokehold or net of hair. It's clear that she is not afraid of him, and that he has no desire to hurt her seriously. [Hence why she can succeed where Ulmo failed.]​

i. During their fight, there is much shouting - Uinen asks him if this is what he wanted, and he says he's free now. She tells him he's not only alone, but about to lose any freedom he once had. He says he thought she would come with him, and she retorts, "No, you didn't."​

ii. Eventually, he calms down and the storm does too, and he expresses his desire to stay with her, even if that means taking orders and staying within boundaries. They go together to reconcile with Ulmo.​


IV. Aulë’s workshop in Valinor

a. Later, Ulmo seeks out Aulë to apologize for the damage done, and to assure him that Ossë will not be raging unchecked any more.​

i. Aulë accepts the apology, but seems suspicious.​

ii. Ulmo mentions that the real threat was not Ossë himself, but the one who drove Ossë to it - Melkor.​

iii. Aulë, who had not sided with Ulmo in the past on this issue, agrees.​

b. Mairon is present during this conversation, but keeps his thoughts to himself.​


V. Utumno?


a. Mairon seeks out Melkor and reports what was said.​

i. He is frustrated over Ossë getting away with his rebellion, shocked that Melkor would be blamed for someone else's actions, and ... Melkor puts out some feelers.​

ii. Melkor decides to make the next move in Mairon's gang initiation, and gives him a tour of Angband in response to what will be done if some of the Valar decide to react violently.​

iii. Mairon is impressed, but uneasy, so Melkor lets him go. It is strongly implied that Mairon will keep this knowledge to himself.​

VI. Aulë’s Workshop

a. We have a final shot of Aulë alone in his workshop, brooding while contemplating a chunk of marble.​


VI. Rivendell

a. Elrond asks Estel how his other lessons are going, and he gives a bit of an update on what he's been learning. Elrond asks him what his favorite lessons are, and Estel rather candidly mentions swordplay first, but does admit that Elrond's stories are pretty neat too.

b. Elrond gives Estel a break and some time off to enjoy spring in Rivendell, which will not last very long.


VI. Alternate


a. Elrond asks Estel how his other lessons are going, and he gives a bit of an update on what he's been learning. Elrond asks him what his favorite lessons are, and Estel rather candidly mentions swordplay first, but does admit that Elrond's stories are pretty neat too.

b. Elrond takes Gilraen's advice to heart, and tells Estel when/where the next lesson will be, and what his homework is before hand.




We have room for another significant subplot in episodes 9 and 10. Alternately, we could combine them into one episode.
 
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