S03E01 Script Discussion

Nicholas Palazzo

Well-Known Member
Alright, it's that time again!

I've calendared the first Script Discussion of S03 for next Saturday, the 2nd. If this is inconvenient for everyone, do let me know so that we can make the necessary adjustments.
 

Nicholas Palazzo

Well-Known Member
Yup, the Hangout is scheduled! I only have the watchable YouTube link so far, though. I'm getting off work at 7 and bolting home to get us up and running with winged speed!

 

MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
Thanks to Nick and Richol for getting the third season kicked off! Let's see....

Season 3 Episode 1: The Rebellion of the Noldor
Protagonist: Fëanor? We didn't really spend too much time worrying about this, but as the whole episode culminates in the Oath, it seemed to fit.

Teaser: Teenage Estel sits waiting by the gate of Rivendell. Halbarad and his son arrive. As Estel leads them to the main house, he speaks briefly with [what did we name the kid?] The two are in stark contrast to each other - Estel dressed as the elves of Rivendell, and whatshisface a bit more ragged and travelstained. Estel is shorter and younger. There is some mutual distaste/scorn expressed (out of Halbarad's earshot), but when Elrond greets his guests, he invites both Halbarad and his son to join him in a conference...while shutting Estel out.

Act 1
1. Gilraen meets with Elrond. She is happy about the visit from the Dunedain, and wonders aloud if maybe it will soon be time for Estel to spend more time with his own people? Elrond cautions her not yet - that unfortunately he has some bad news. It seems that Sauron has returned to Mordor, and so it would be better for Estel to remain in Rivendell for now. Gilraen agrees, obviously shaken by this news. Estel has overheard this conversation.

2. Meanwhile, in Angband. Sauron has been summoned to Melkor's throne room in the pit of Angband. When he enters, we see Gothmog standing next to the throne. Melkor asks about the project he entrusted to Mairon before he left, and Sauron is quite happy to show off the results of his experiments on the captive elves. The fallen elves look a little withered and worse for wear, and flat-out worship Melkor as a god. Melkor seems...less than impressed with these results. This isn't quite what he had in mind. What use will these fawning creatures be for fielding an army to demonstrate his might? Melkor removes Sauron from control of the orc project.

3. We rejoin the Noldor as they escort the body of Finwë from Formenos to Lorien by lamplight. Finarfin pulls his brother Fingolfin aside to discuss his urgent concerns over the current situation. Fëanor has already taken charge over what to do with Finwë's body, and in Finarfin's opinion, the Noldor can't really afford any more of his leadership. Also, Finarfin reminds [the audience] that Fëanor's exile from Tirion has not yet been lifted. Fingolfin doesn't disagree, exactly, but asks something along the lines of 'What would you have me do - go back on my word?' He considers himself bound by his words at the foot of Manwë's throne.

4. In Lorien, Finwë's body, heavily draped in fabric, is laid down on an empty bench next to Míriel's apparently sleeping form. Irimë weeps openly over his body. Indis looks at Míriel, and then approaches Fëanor in a last attempt to reach out to him and heal the divisions in their family. She is gracious and queenly, and shares his grief, but he is completely gutted - blank and closed off; he does not respond to her or even acknowledge that he has heard her. Fëanor leaves alone.

Act 2
5. Nerdanel is walking through a quarry in the starlight. She comes across Fëanor here; it is the place where they first met. It is unclear which one of them was looking for the other - some 'of course you would be here' comment between them. Fëanor's silent shock has worn off. He is quiet, and vulnerable - we see his grief now, as an orphan who has lost his parents. Nerdanel offers him comfort; she too is grieving for Finwë. But his anger isn't far behind, and he insists that Melkor must pay for what he has done. Nerdanel agrees, and says that there is no way the Valar will let Melkor get away with this. At the mention of the Valar, Fëanor's anger erupts, and he explains how all of this is the Valar's fault, and Melkor is one of them, and they are complicit, and.... Nerdanel knows she has lost him.

6.
{To Be Continued}
 
Last edited:

MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
Season 3 Episode 1: The Rebellion of the Noldor
Protagonist: Fëanor? We didn't really spend too much time worrying about this, but as the whole episode culminates in the Oath, it seemed to fit.

Teaser: Frame - Teenage Estel sits waiting by the gate of Rivendell. Halbarad and his son arrive. As Estel leads them to the main house, he speaks briefly with Hamilcar. The two are in stark contrast to each other - Estel dressed as the elves of Rivendell, and Hamilcar a bit more ragged and travel-stained. Estel is shorter and younger. There is some mutual distaste/scorn expressed (out of Halbarad's earshot), but when Elrond greets his guests, he invites both Halbarad and his son to join him in a conference...while shutting Estel out.

Act 1
1. Gilraen meets with Elrond. She is happy about the visit from the Dunedain, and wonders aloud if maybe it will soon be time for Estel to spend more time with his own people? Elrond cautions her not yet - that unfortunately he has some bad news. It seems that Sauron has returned to Mordor, and so it would be better for Estel to remain in Rivendell for now. Gilraen agrees, obviously shaken by this news. Estel has overheard this conversation.

2. Meanwhile, in Angband. Sauron has been summoned to Melkor's throne room in the pit of Angband. When he enters, we see Gothmog standing next to the throne. Melkor asks about the project he entrusted to Mairon before he left, and Sauron is quite happy to show off the results of his experiments on the captive elves. The fallen elves look a little withered and worse for wear, and flat-out worship Melkor as a god. Melkor seems...less than impressed with these results. This isn't quite what he had in mind. What use will these fawning creatures be for fielding an army to demonstrate his might? Melkor removes Sauron from control of the orc project.

3. We rejoin the Noldor as they escort the body of Finwë from Formenos to Lorien by lamplight. Finarfin pulls his brother Fingolfin aside to discuss his urgent concerns over the current situation. Fëanor has already taken charge over what to do with Finwë's body, and in Finarfin's opinion, the Noldor can't really afford any more of his leadership. Also, Finarfin reminds [the audience] that Fëanor's exile from Tirion has not yet been lifted. Fingolfin doesn't disagree, exactly, but asks something along the lines of 'What would you have me do - go back on my word?' He considers himself bound by his words at the foot of Manwë's throne.

4. In Lorien, Finwë's body, heavily draped in fabric, is laid down on an empty bench next to Míriel's apparently sleeping form. Irimë weeps openly over his body. Indis looks at Míriel, and then approaches Fëanor in a last attempt to reach out to him and heal the divisions in their family. She acknowledges that his father loved him dearly and it is right for Finwë to be placed next to Míriel. She is gracious and queenly, and shares his grief, but he is completely gutted - blank and closed off; he does not respond to her or even acknowledge that he has heard her. Fëanor leaves alone.

Act 2

5. Nerdanel is walking through a quarry in the starlight. She comes across Fëanor here; it is the place where they first met. It is unclear which one of them was looking for the other - some 'of course you would be here' comment between them.
A. Fëanor's silent shock has worn off. He is quiet, and vulnerable - we see his grief now, as an orphan who has lost his parents. Nerdanel offers him comfort; she too is grieving for Finwë.
B. But his anger isn't far behind, and he insists that Melkor must pay for what he has done. Nerdanel agrees, and says that there is no way the Valar will let Melkor get away with this. At the mention of the Valar, Fëanor's anger erupts, and he explains how all of this is the Valar's fault, and Melkor is one of them, and they are complicit, and he will not live under their rule any longer....
C. Nerdanel refuses to join him in his rebellion. He accuses her of betraying him during his darkest hour.
D. Nerdanel knows she has lost him, so argues instead for her sons?​

6. Fëanor's sons lead the army of Formenos, which encamps outside the walls of Tirion. They are not permitted to enter the city, and not happy about it, but Fingolfin's guards insist it is necessary to keep the peace. Maglor stresses that this situation is temporary and should not be taken as a slight. Maedhros insists that Fëanor will take care of his brother, who has attempted to usurp their father's rightful place. Nerdanel returns to the camp outside Tirion.

7. Finarfin speaks privately with his family to express his fears - he does not know how to prevent the impending disaster. Galadriel expresses her vocal desire to visit Middle Earth. Finrod retorts that since when are you a fan of Fëanor? Finarfin speaks of the dangers of making important decisions when you're upset or hurt. He also speaks of his sense of duty towards his people and what leadership entails. Earwen expresses love of Valinor.

8a. Olwë of Alqualondë sends messengers with condolences for the death of Finwë to Fingolfin in Tirion. Fingolfin discusses the current situation with his sons Fingon and Turgon. Fingon is happy to leave Valinor, so he does not feel the need to argue much. Turgon is very opposed to the idea because of his love of Tirion. His father points out that they could build Tirion anew in Middle Earth. Turgon retorts that they could just...not leave the one they have already. There is more to Valinor than just the Trees.

8b. Fëanor returns to Tirion and enters the city.

Act 3
9. Finarfin tries to catch up with Fëanor and urge patience - can he maybe delay before doing something rash and public? Talk things through first? Fëanor has no patience and no interest. Fëanor dismisses him as, if you don't want to be part of this, then don't. Finarfin snaps back that he won't abandon their people, either.

10. Indis says goodbye to her children (Fingolfin, Findis, Finarfin and Irimë) because she is returning to the Vanyar in the wake of her husband's death. Findis agrees to go with her; Irimë chooses to stay with her brothers. Before she leaves, Indis tells Fingolfin about the imminent fire, destruction and bloodshed that Míriel foretold. They both express being trapped by the promises they've made - these outcomes are unavoidable.

11. Nerdanel, meanwhile, is pleading with her sons to give some thought to their father's plan and not just blindly jump in to follow him. Fëanor's sons insist that Nerdanel will inevitably come around to Fëanor's point of view; she always does. At this point, she despairs of reaching her sons - she has already lost them.

12. Meanwhile in Angband - Morgoth raises the volcanic peaks of Thangorodrim in a show of power and defiance. The balrogs are involved in their construction, somewhat reminiscent of the Lamps. Morgoth informs Sauron that the time for secrecy is over. Sauron tries to get himself put in charge of that project, but Morgoth just says something cryptic.

Act 4
13. The Noldor gather in the torch-lit square in Tirion. Fëanor does most of the talking. He names Melkor Morgoth. The destruction of the Trees making staying in Valinor pointless - he calls it a Cage. He blames the Valar for the death of their king. He mentions that the younger race will usurp their place in Middle Earth.

14. Rúmil takes his parting shot at Fëanor. Galadriel finds herself in the awkward position of defending Fëanor's call to have kingdoms in Middle Earth in spite of her personal opinion of him. (Etc, etc - the Hosts expressed what they wanted various characters to say in this scene)

15a. The Oath of Fëanor. Fëanor recites the Oath alone. His sons jump up from their places in the crowd and draw their swords, joining Fëanor in saying "So swear we all!" Nerdanel leaves the square. While some of the listeners are shocked, the next voice calling for a pause, the crowd makes it clear that they are impatient to leave.

15b. The final farewell between Fëanor and Nerdanel. She pleads with him not to take her sons from her. He retorts that she should just come with them, and then she can keep all of her children.

16. Meanwhile in Angband - Morgoth and Sauron are in the pits of Angband, and Morgoth informs Sauron that he has someone else to lead the orc project. Introducing...Boldog! Boldog is a proto-orc, a maia loyal to Melkor. He is clearly more of a warrior than the fallen elves. Sauron's 'lab assistant' fallen elf comments on how hideous Boldog is, and Boldog kills him. Melkor orders Sauron to undertake a mission outside Angband - .



Tag: Frame - Estel sneaks out of Rivendell at night.
 
Last edited:

MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
I think there is a gap between Part 4 and Part 5.

1:53 - 2:13 should be Part 5.

What you are calling Part 5 is really Part 6.

Part 6 is Part 7.

Part 7 is Part 8.
 
Last edited:

MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
My goal is to get the outlines for Episodes 1-4 polished up enough to share them with the Execs within the next 24 hours. So, if anyone has any comments - do let me know! I know I have to regularize the use of Sauron/Mairon and Melkor/Morgoth. Gothmog should *always* use Sauron; Melkor should still be calling him Mairon. While the Noldor will not use the name 'Melkor' after this episode, the rest of Arda hasn't gotten that memo yet. Right?

Also, please let me know if any of this is unclear/confusing - I am attempting to summarize a discussion that I was part of, so the meaning is clear to me, but I may have left out something key.


Season 3 Episode 1: The Rebellion of the Noldor

Protagonist: Fëanor
Introductions: Boldog, Halbarad, Hamilcar
Final appearances: Indis, Nerdanel, Rúmil?
Characters:
Melkor, Mairon, Gothmog, Boldog, Indis, Findis, Irimë, Fingolfin, Finarfin, Fëanor, Nerdanel, Sons of Fëanor, Earwen, Galadriel, Sons of Finarfin, Fingon, Turgon,
(Frame: Elrond, Estel, Gilraen, Halbarad, Hamilcar)

Summary: In the wake of Finwë's murder, the Noldor decide to seek vengeance. Melkor openly declares himself to be king in Middle Earth.
Theme: The importance of oaths and treating one's word as one's bond.

Teaser: Frame - Teenage Estel sits waiting by the gate of Rivendell. Halbarad and his son Hamilcar arrive. As Estel leads them to the main house, he speaks briefly with Hamilcar. The two are in stark contrast to each other - Estel dressed as the elves of Rivendell, and Hamilcar a bit more ragged and travel-stained. Estel is shorter and younger (about 16). There is some mutual distaste/scorn expressed (out of Halbarad's earshot), but when Elrond greets his guests, he invites both Halbarad and his son to join him in a conference...while shutting Estel out.

Act 1
1. Gilraen meets with Elrond. She is happy about the visit from the Dunedain, and wonders aloud if maybe it will soon be time for Estel to spend more time with his own people? Elrond cautions her not yet - that unfortunately he has some bad news. It seems that Sauron has returned to Mordor, and so it would be better for Estel to remain in Rivendell for now. Gilraen agrees, obviously shaken by this news. Estel has overheard this conversation.

2. Meanwhile, in Angband. Mairon has been summoned to Melkor's throne room in the pit of Angband. When he enters, Gothmog is standing next to the throne. Melkor asks about the project he entrusted to Mairon before he left, and Mairon is quite happy to show off the results of his experiments on the captive elves. The fallen elves look a little withered and worse for wear, and flat-out worship Melkor as a god. Melkor seems...less than impressed with these results. This isn't quite what he had in mind. What use will these fawning creatures be for fielding an army to demonstrate his might? Gothmog takes the opportunity to make a scathing remark about Sauron's (sic) efforts. Melkor removes Mairon from control of the orc project.

3. The Noldor escort the body of Finwë from Formenos to Lorien by lamplight in darkened Valinor, with the stars overhead. Finarfin pulls his brother Fingolfin aside to discuss his urgent concerns over the current situation. Fëanor has already taken charge over what to do with Finwë's body, and in Finarfin's opinion, the Noldor can't really afford any more of his leadership. Also, Finarfin reminds [the audience] that Fëanor's ban from Tirion has not yet been lifted - while he has been pardoned, the time on his exile is not complete. Fingolfin doesn't disagree, exactly, but asks something along the lines of 'What would you have me do - go back on my word?' He considers himself bound by his words at the foot of Manwë's throne.

4. In Lorien, Finwë's body, heavily draped in fabric, is laid down on an empty bench next to Míriel's apparently sleeping form. Irimë weeps openly over her father's body. Indis looks at Míriel, and then approaches Fëanor in a last attempt to reach out to him and heal the divisions in their family. She acknowledges that his father loved him dearly and that it is right for Finwë to be placed next to Míriel, as they are now together in the Halls of Mandos. She is gracious and queenly, and shares his grief, but he is completely gutted - blank and closed off; he does not respond to her or even acknowledge that he has heard her. Fëanor leaves alone.

Act 2

5. Nerdanel is walking through a quarry in the starlight. She comes across Fëanor here; it is the place where they first met. It is unclear which one of them was looking for the other - an 'of course you would be here' comment between them.
A. Fëanor's silent shock has worn off. He is quiet, and vulnerable - we see his grief now, as an orphan who has lost his parents. Nerdanel offers him comfort; she too is grieving for Finwë.
B. But his anger isn't far behind, and he insists that Melkor must pay for what he has done. Nerdanel agrees, and says that there is no way the Valar will let Melkor get away with this. At the mention of the Valar, Fëanor's anger erupts, and he explains how all of this is the Valar's fault, and Melkor is one of them, and they are complicit, and he will not live under their rule any longer...and that Melkor is not worthy of that name and he never wants to hear it again.
C. Nerdanel refuses to join him in his rebellion. He accuses her of betraying him during his darkest hour. She defends her position, saying that he is the one who is betraying his people.
D. [Nerdanel knows she has lost him, so argues instead for her sons?]​

6. Fëanor's sons lead the army of Formenos, which encamps outside the walls of Tirion. They are not permitted to enter the city, and are not happy about it, but Fingolfin's guards insist it is necessary to keep the peace. Maglor stresses that this situation is temporary and should not be taken as a slight. Maedhros insists that Fëanor will take care of his half-brother, who has attempted to usurp their father's rightful place. Nerdanel returns to the camp outside Tirion.

7. Finarfin speaks privately with his family to express his fears - he does not know how to prevent the impending disaster. Galadriel expresses her vocal desire to visit Middle Earth. Finrod scoffs - since when is she a fan of Fëanor? Finarfin speaks of the dangers of making important decisions when upset or hurt. He also speaks of his sense of duty towards his people and what leadership entails. Earwen expresses love of Valinor.

8a. Olwë, King of the Teleri in Alqualondë, sends messengers with condolences for the death of Finwë to Fingolfin in Tirion. Fingolfin discusses the current situation with his sons Fingon and Turgon. Fingon is happy to leave Valinor, so he does not feel the need to argue much. Turgon is very opposed to the idea because of his love of Tirion. His father points out that they could build Tirion anew in Middle Earth. Turgon retorts that they could just...not leave the one they have already built. There is more to Valinor than just the Trees.

8b. Fëanor returns to Tirion and enters the city. Most of the people greet him gladly, though there is some uneasiness.

Act 3
9. Finarfin tries to catch up with Fëanor and urge patience - Can he delay before doing something rash and public? Talk things through first? Fëanor has no patience and no interest. Fëanor dismisses him - if you don't want to be part of this, then don't. Finarfin snaps back that he won't abandon their people, either.

10. Indis says goodbye to her children (Fingolfin, Findis, Finarfin and Irimë) because she is returning to the Vanyar in the wake of her husband's death. Findis agrees to go with her; Irimë chooses to stay with her brothers. Before she leaves, Indis tells Fingolfin about the imminent fire, destruction and bloodshed that Míriel foretold. They both express being trapped by the promises they've made - these outcomes are unavoidable.

11. Nerdanel, meanwhile, is pleading with her sons to give some thought to their father's plan and not just blindly jump in to follow him. Fëanor's sons insist that Nerdanel will inevitably come around to Fëanor's point of view; she always does. At this point, she despairs of reaching her sons - she has already lost them.

12. Meanwhile in Angband - Melkor raises the volcanic peaks of Thangorodrim in a show of power and defiance. The balrogs are involved in their construction, somewhat reminiscent of the Lamps. Melkor informs Mairon that the time for secrecy is over. Mairon tries to get himself put in charge of that project, but Melkor says something cryptic about his talents being needed elsewhere.

Act 4
13. The Noldor gather in the torch-lit square in Tirion. More of the soldiers of Formenos have entered the city, carrying torches. The somber, mourning mood has changed to one of anticipation. Fëanor does most of the talking. He names Melkor Morgoth. The destruction of the Trees make staying in Valinor pointless - he calls it a cage. He blames the Valar for the death of their king. He mentions that the younger race will usurp their place in Middle Earth. And he publicly reminds Fingolfin of his earlier pledge of loyalty.

14. Rúmil takes his parting shot at Fëanor. Galadriel finds herself in the awkward position of defending Fëanor's call to have kingdoms in Middle Earth in spite of her personal opinion of him - we will go with you, but we will never follow you. [Aredhel silently agrees with Galadriel.] Irimë reminds them of their obligation to get retribution for the death of their king (she speaks passionately from anger and grief). Turgon speaks of the beauty of Valinor and Tirion without gainsaying his father, which helps reinforce the voice of those who are calling to wait and proceed with caution. [Finrod silently agrees with Turgon.]

15a. The Oath of Fëanor. Fëanor recites the Oath alone. [Glimpses of Manwë, Varda, and Taniquetal when Fëanor names them.] His sons jump up from their places in the crowd and draw their swords, joining Fëanor in saying "So swear we all!" Nerdanel leaves the square. [Celebrimbor stands with the Fëanoreans, but does not take the Oath.] While some of the listeners are shocked [particularly Mahtan], after the next voice calling for a pause, the crowd makes it clear that they are impatient to leave.

15b. The final farewell between Fëanor and Nerdanel. She pleads with him not to take her sons from her. He retorts that she should just come with them, and then she can keep all of her children.

16. Meanwhile in Angband - In the pits of Angband, Melkor informs Mairon that he has someone else to lead the orc project. Introducing...Boldog! Boldog is a proto-orc, a maia loyal to Melkor. He is clearly more of a warrior than the fallen elves. Mairon's 'lab assistant' fallen elf comments on how hideous Boldog is, and Boldog kills him. Melkor orders Mairon to undertake a mission outside Angband - the details are not overheard.

Tag: Frame - Estel sneaks out of Rivendell at night, disobeying his guardian.
 
Last edited:

MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
One thing that does not really happen in this outline (which was requested by the Hosts) was for the pre-Fëanor-entrance-into-Tirion, the debate among the Noldor should be over leadership and succession, and it's only after Fëanor starts stirring things up in person that the question becomes should we go to Middle Earth or not.

Also, we were supposed to open Episode 2 with a 'What are the Valar thinking?' which we...did not do. [It's in Episode 3, and is more a reaction to the Kinslaying.] But they don't want it in this episode, anyway, aside from the glimpse of Manwë and Varda during the Oath.
 

Nicholas Palazzo

Well-Known Member
Alright, so I found the missing footage. Working on getting a video up, but I've already fixed the episode titles. As to the question of the pre-Feanor entrance "Who Will Be King" Question, I think that the Fingolfin-Finarfin conversation we have during the trip to Lorien serves that purposes, and does so earlier in the episode, setting it up as an actual conflict, rather than just a hurdle.
 

MithLuin

Administrator
Staff member
Oh, I agree that we raise the succession question right away. But I feel like what they were asking for was for everyone to be worried about 'What will Fëanor do?' and no one had figured out that it would be rebellion and return to Middle Earth, until Fëanor came back and started saying so publicly. We have conversations with Galadriel and Turgon earlier than this which make it sound like a foregone conclusion that Fëanor (and some of the Noldor) want to leave Valinor. So, it's maybe less of a shock/shift than they were looking for...more like a gradual and inevitable progression. The way we have it, the audience may be wondering why the other characters have given up/resigned themselves before Fëanor even does anything. And while Fëanor may have energy and drive, what he's saying isn't going to be shocking or new (well, maybe the Oath, but that isn't what sways the crowd).

I don't think this outline is bad, it's just that that is what stood out to me on review, and after re-listening to their podcast. I'll send it along to them and we'll see what their reaction is.
 

Faelivrin

Well-Known Member
Last-minute comments on outlines. Mostly I am liking this. I love that you got Rúmil in there. (I have an irrational liking for Rúmil for... no apparent reason. He gets no personality or scenes in the books.)

Act 1
[...]
2. Meanwhile, in Angband. Sauron has been summoned to Melkor's throne room in the pit of Angband. When he enters, we see Gothmog standing next to the throne. Melkor asks about the project he entrusted to Mairon before he left, and Sauron is quite happy to show off the results of his experiments on the captive elves. The fallen elves look a little withered and worse for wear, and flat-out worship Melkor as a god. Melkor seems...less than impressed with these results. This isn't quite what he had in mind. What use will these fawning creatures be for fielding an army to demonstrate his might? Melkor removes Sauron from control of the orc project.
So, they aren’t an army of orcs yet? So there won’t be orcs attacking Doriath or the Laiquendi? I’m confused... I would think that the orc project was already far advanced by the time Morgoth returned.

Act 2
[...]
5. [...]
D. Nerdanel knows she has lost him, so argues instead for her sons?
For the twins... foreboding Amrod’s ill fate, now that you’ve agreed Fëanor burns him. Or she asks him to leave the twins behind in Act 4 Scene 15b later?

Act 3
12. Meanwhile in Angband - Melkor raises the volcanic peaks of Thangorodrim in a show of power and defiance. The balrogs are involved in their construction, somewhat reminiscent of the Lamps. Melkor informs Mairon that the time for secrecy is over. Mairon tries to get himself put in charge of that project, but Melkor says something cryptic about his talents being needed elsewhere.
I imagined less a construction project, and more a gigantic volcanic eruption.

Act 4
14. Rúmil takes his parting shot at Fëanor.
I love the idea of Rúmil arguing with Fëanor. But wouldn’t want to write him out of the story just yet, though. From what Rúmil wrote in the Annals of Aman, it appears most likely that he joined the Rebellion at first but returned to Valinor with Finarfin. But it isn’t a really big deal if he instead stays, and later writes down what Finarfin told him of the Kinslaying and Doom, I suppose.

15a. The Oath of Fëanor. Fëanor recites the Oath alone. [Glimpses of Manwë, Varda, and Taniquetal when Fëanor names them.] His sons jump up from their places in the crowd and draw their swords, joining Fëanor in saying "So swear we all!"
Oh good, I’m glad that you didn’t write that they practiced it or premeditated it. I agree – Feanor planned it and swore it, then they jumped up thoughtlessly and repeated his words (changing “I” to “we” and so forth). They heard all his words before joining in, but it wasn’t premeditated on their parts.

But I feel like what they were asking for was for everyone to be worried about 'What will Fëanor do?' and no one had figured out that it would be rebellion and return to Middle Earth, until Fëanor came back and started saying so publicly. We have conversations with Galadriel and Turgon earlier than this which make it sound like a foregone conclusion that Fëanor (and some of the Noldor) want to leave Valinor. So, it's maybe less of a shock/shift than they were looking for...more like a gradual and inevitable progression. The way we have it, the audience may be wondering why the other characters have given up/resigned themselves before Fëanor even does anything. And while Fëanor may have energy and drive, what he's saying isn't going to be shocking or new (well, maybe the Oath, but that isn't what sways the crowd).
I’m with MithLuin, I think it should come as a shock. The other conversations could be reworked to make it more shocking. Or move Galadriel and Finrod’s conversation to after Fëanor’s speech? When Finrod expresses surprise that she would side with Fëanor even in part, she can point out that Finrod also wants to see and rule far places in Middle-earth -- if the two have never talked about visiting Middle-earth even hypothetically, she can shrewdly guess what her brother is thinking, since it's so similar to her thoughts. Or just read his mind, though that need not be demonstrated to the audience (but if you want to introduce telepathy before the Kinslaying...) .
 
Last edited:
Top