I mean, I don't really have a problem pushing Gilraen as a bit of a helicopter mom, with high expectations and being generally dissatisfied with her son's education stemming from her larger issues with the loss of her husband, the loss of her home, etc. I would definitely try to go harder on pooh-poohing the happy as opposed to the sad. The issue is going to be balancing her objections and attitude so that she doesn't come across as needlessly, heedlessly morose and negative. I feel like we should be shooting for "critical" with Gilraen. I think the best way to get to that balance will be giving her useful, insightful, reasonable things to say to Lord Elrond, so even if the scales are tipped towards her being a student in much the same way Estel is, she is also giving back to him as a teacher.
Edit: Were they actually raised or just tutored by Elrond? Even then, I think we could easily spin some of the aspects of her husband's personality that she didn't care for as being "elvish" in origin from her perspective.