New Stream Idea - Play Me a Story

Introductory Statement: As we explore more of the station, we run across a somewhat familiar, mechanical face.

Foreboding Clarification: But not all is quite as it seems, as the droid knows far more than he is willing to reveal.

List of Queries Culminating in an Irrelevant, Unrelated Query: Do we trust him? Can we at least work with him? What does the station look like from the outside?

Clumsy Concluding Invitation: Find out in this episode of Press Play!

 
Due to technical difficulties, Link finds his final battle with Vaati put on hold. In the meanwhile, a begins his own heroic quest by herding animals and putting on a performance for children. This will end up being a pretty boring adventure, unless something crazy occurs, like a bunch of monsters kidnapping the children and turning Link into a wolf; but what are the odds of that happening?

 
As we work on escaping the station, we're confronted by a Sith with VERY dry skin. Furious at the lack of moisturizer on board, he attacks, and Kreia decides to hold him off while we get away. This doesn't bode well, given how things have gone when other characters have offered to do the same in similar circumstances, but there's little other choice.

Eventually, we make it to our ship and meet up with Kreia, who managed to not die! The Sith make one last attempt to blow us up along with the station, but we escape and are finally free! Now we are no longer trapped, but can go where we wish and explore the wider galaxy! We decide to start with Telos, where we're immediately placed under arrest and imprisoned. Great.

 
We work with Midna to escape and discover that an evil force from a realm of darkness is trying to invade our light world. Fortunately, we have some friends to help us out! Between bratty imps, legendary skeleton warriors, human-bird hybrid things, glowing animal spirits, and a monkey; Link has more comrades than ever before!

 
We're at least temporarily cleared of charges, so it's time to explore Citadel Station! We encounter both the Czerka Corporation and some Ithorians competing for a terraforming contract; through threats, espionage, and even assassination attempts! Who knew ecological work involved so much intrigue?

 
Where've they gone?
Scattered through the trees
To try to gather them all up
Will take a lot of keys!

Hey, hey, they're the monkeys
And I think they'll help us get around
We're not beating this dungeon
Until everybody's found

You know they want us to
Help them to find their crew
Even their fallen boss is
A good friend when we're through!

Hey, hey, they're the monkeys
And people say they monkey around
But with their crazy swinging
They aren't gonna let us down

They really seem quite friendly
And when hardships come our way
If we all work together
We'll beat this dungeon today!

 
Nothing keeps Link in shape like playing lots of sports. From Skeleton Fencing, to Bulblin Jousting, to Goron Sumo; Link can win them all! ...after a few practice rounds, of course.

If we could also organize the 50m Zora Freestyle and Bomb Put events, we'd be all set to hold the Hyrule Olympics!

 
As the battle wages on between groups trying to secure a contract, only one being can save the day. Only one droid can infiltrate the enemy's office, convince an astromech to go on a rampage as a distraction, and retrieve the data we need. B-4D4 is the hero we never knew we needed!

 
What it was could not be seen: it was like a great shadow, in the middle of which was a dark form, of man-shape maybe, yet greater; and a power and terror seemed to be in it and to go before it.

It came to the edge of the fire and the light faded as if a cloud had bent over it. Then with a rush it leaped across the fissure. The flames roared up to greet it, and wreathed about it; and a black smoke swirled in the air. Its streaming mane kindled, and blazed behind it. In its right hand was a blade like a stabbing tongue of fire; in its left it held a whip of many thongs.

‘Ai! ai!’ wailed Legolas. ‘A Balrog! A Balrog is come!’

Gimli stared with wide eyes. ‘Durin’s Bane!’ he cried, and letting his axe fall he covered his face.

‘A Balrog,’ muttered Gandalf. ‘Now I understand.’ He faltered and leaned heavily on his staff. ‘What an evil fortune! And I am already weary.’

'Don't worry,' said Link, drawing his sword. 'I've got this.'

(Tolkien, J.R.R.. The Fellowship Of The Ring: Being the First Part of The Lord of the Rings (p. 481). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition. For the most part.)

 
Our quest becomes more difficult as we have to track down Ilia, jump off a burning bridge, fight a monster-bird, and then ride the monster-bird! It seems that all the troubles are piling on Link all at once! But you know what they say: when life gives you a giant, red-hot lemon-looking rock, drop it onto some frozen Zoras.

 
When we first arrived at Citadel Station, we had just escaped some Sith hunting us, and ended up imprisoned by people who really shouldn't be our enemies. Now that we've made it to the surface of Telos, we discover we're being hunted by assassin droids! ...so, we escape them and end up imprisoned by people who really shouldn't be our enemies. It's nice to see the story taking such a bold, new path.

 
Link gets to hear more of the game's backstory, but the visuals accompanying it get REALLY trippy. Later, he encounters a Zora ghost. This raises the important question: is Link's all-chu-jelly diet and lack of sleep starting to get to him?

 
We make our way through the Lakebed Temple and get another piece of Fused Shadow. Just as we return to the Light Spirit Lanayru, however, we're confronted by Zant, who...

Wait a minute, is Zant's helmet sticking its tongue out at us, with bulging eyes pointed in slightly different directions? The great, evil overlord is seriously foregoing traditional icons of power and menace in favor of silly, childish mockery? That's actually pretty impressive, I must admit.

You may have won my grudging respect this time, Zant, but NEXT time, I shall ridicule you as you've never been ridiculed before!

 
As we set out to get the Jedi back together, we get to learn a lot about our crewmates. The Handmaiden is devoted to Atris, Kreia used to be one of the highest-ranking Sith Lords, and Atton knows a little about Echani fighting. Of these, one is a bit more surprising than the others, of course. I doubt any of us expected Atton to know anything potentially useful.

 
We've been cursed by Zant, future is dire
The fate of Hyrule hangs by a wire (do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do)
Enter the city as a canine
Some help for Midna is what we need to find (do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do)

Once Zelda is found
I don't know what she's going to do
Put Midna down, the light it abounds
And I stand by as a wolf
Midna's alive, the light soon subsides
But it seems Zelda's now gone, too
We need to find the blade that can shine
Then I'll stop being a wolf!

 
After some initial technical difficulties wherein the first 14 minutes have working audio but frozen video, we're ready to explore Nar Shaddaa as we hunt for the first of the missing Jedi masters! We encounter many people who need our help, and learn one of the basic truths of the Galaxy: whether you try to help people or try to hurt people, you'll only make things worse for them.

 
It's nice to encounter allies who are being proactive about trying to stop the danger we're facing, and not just running around screaming, "NAYRU!" the entire game. Our friends point us in the direction of the Gerudo Desert, which is conspicuously absent of Gerudo. As we explore the Arbiter's Grounds and encounter plenty of Stalchildren, Gibdos, and Poes, there's a sneaking suspicion that we may have discovered WHY there are no longer any Gerudo...

 
After helping out some refugees, it's time to get to know our crewmates a bit better, including our newest friend who tried to assassinate us before immediately swearing fealty to us! She seems rather nice for someone who was just trying to kill us moments earlier.

We also learn that the Handmaiden has strange uniform requirements when training, and that Kreia has even stranger views on which warnings to prioritize upon learning that a Sith assassin targeting us has joined the crew. Kreia either doesn't understand interpersonal relationships at all, or understands all too well that this entire world is part of a video game.

 
At the end of the Arbiter's Grounds, we meet the Sages, who fill us in on a bit more of the story! A long time ago, the Sages captured Ganondorf and tried to execute him, but were unable to do so because he had the Triforce of Power. So they instead sent him to the Twilight Realm, where he eventually gave Zant the power to take over the Twilight Realm and then threaten our world, kicking off the events of this game.

Sorry, Midna. I guess that makes the whole thing our bad. Can we buy you something at Malo Mart to help make it up to you?


Once a dozen pairs of gold bugs, pink and green,
All across the land of Hyrule could be seen.
"I've got nobody to date,
Where can I find me a mate?"

Then a Hylian decked out in Zora Blue
Said, "I know just what it is that you should do!
Come along with me,
And you're going to see
Agitha's Golden Bug Ball."

Come on let's crawl
Catch them all, Take them all
To the Golden Bug Ball
To the Ball, to the Ball
But we can't yet get the last one...

...so let's pause that and go help Malo make some progress toward opening a Castle Town branch for Malo Mart. The price-gougers in Castle Town won't know what hit them!

 
We solve a few more problems for the people of Nar Shaddaa, and head out to meet a representative of the Exchange. Before we get the chance, however, a bounty hunter named Mira knocks us out and steals our protective gear! Even worse, she's talking to folks and learning cultural knowledge that WE should be learning! We need to go after her and recover all the tidbits of lore!

 
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